This morning after Aeron left to go to work, I had my moment, I sobbed. I even had somewhat of a temper tantrum where I kicked my mattress a few times. I sat there and thought why in the hell did I tell everyone about this situation, and I thought long and hard about it. My reason: Because this nothing to be ashamed of. I would rather be a voice for women who go thru this everyday. I have realized I have TONS of support, and that Aeron and I are loved by so many. With all of the prayers that come in, I know that can only help us. So I want to thank every person who has reached out with a story, encouragement, and comfort. After all of that thinking and analyzing I fell asleep finally. Only to wake up from a call from Christy-Thank god because I had over slept.
So the current update is: I wrote my Dr. she said Clomid can extend your cycle up to a week-so that's why I was late, another awesome side effect to this drug. Also I just literally just got my period. So today is now officially Day1 of cycle#2. I am angry, annoyed, let down, defeated, and I really want to dye my hair and drink a margarita-two things I have held off doing pending if I was pregnant or not for obvious reasons! Today, I feel bad for myself. I feel bad for Aeron, who I thought would end up having an awesome Father's Day who will now just have another regular Sunday. I have been saving my birthday Old Navy gift cards in hopes of buying maternity clothes, now I will be going on a shopping spree for sure. I am gonna treat myself nicely today, and gear up for more meds, shots, and sonograms. I am still forever Thankful I have come this far, that I have a supportive husband, and I have fertility coverage.
So going forward this next round:
I am going to take my metformin regularly
Looking into acupuncture
I am also going to start working out to remove stress from my life
Onward and upward for cycle #2.
I just started reading your blog today. I was lurking on the Bump and clicked your blog link. I started from the beginning and just got to this point and realized you posted this today. I have even teared up reading some of your blog posts. I am wishing you the best. <3 Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry this cycle didn't work out. It's important to give yourself that time to cry/sob/throw a tantrum - get it out. Only then can you try to pick yourself back up and keep moving forward, I find. Treat yourself well - dye your hair, drink fruity drinks and go spend that GC on yourself, you deserve it! Sending good vibes for this cycle :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Sarah :( IF sucks the big one. I hope the next cycle is yours.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies for the kind comments, it means so much@
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry the cycle didn't work for you. I have also been very open with everyone about IF and when procedures will be, etc. I love the support and wouldn't trade it for anything! GL with cycle 2 and dye that hair and drink that margarita!!
ReplyDeleteWe've been there, too - and it SUCKS!! You guys aren't alone.
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