Sunny

Today has been an AWESOME day, but also a heavy heart day. Today is the day my hero died 7 years ago, my grandpa. A lot of time I don't show sadness because he lives in my heart. I know he is here. Of course, I wish he was actually here on earth where I could hear his advice, hear him sing, or laugh. Those are selfish things. I now realize just how strong our bond was. I know my grandpa continues to be my biggest fan, even in heaven. Below is a song that will always remind me of him. Because I thought he walked on water.

Today I was GRACIOUSLY blessed with a raise, but instead of giving it to me throughout the year, my work gave it to me all at once. This is the biggest blessing, so now I can pay off some bills that have been hanging over our heads.

Also this morning was monitoring. My follie-which I will name Sunny (in tribute to my grandpa) had a huge jump in size to 19.5mm. I couldn't believe it!

Things are going pretty well this month. Below is the email from my nurse regarding my next steps.

Hi Sarah,

 

Happy Thursday, hope you are well.

 

Everything is looking great today and we are ready for your IUI!

 

You have one dominant follicle (19.5mm) on your left ovary. The other remaining follicles on both sides are very small. Your estrogen level is up to 321, which is appropriate for your follicle count.

 

Here are your instructions:

-          Inject your ovidrel tonight 6/27 at 10:45pm

-          Your husband should ejaculate today and abstain tomorrow

-          Your husband’s appointment is on Saturday 6/29 at 9:15am, he should arrive with a photo-ID

-          Your appointment is on Saturday 6/29 at 10:45am, you should arrive with a  photo-ID and a full bladder

 

Good luck!! Let me know if you have any further questions, I will be here until 5pm today.

 

Take care,

Michal

IUI #2 Monitoring 1

Hello All,

This time I feel a lot more relaxed about this whole thing. I guess because I know what to expect. Yesterday was my first monitoring appointment. Below are the results. I am pretty excited that the follies are bigger than last time on cd12 and I have more....ummm a lot more. My next monitoring day is tomorrow 6/27/13. I am hoping to have my IUI during the weekend, and that will make it much more relaxing.

Here are your results from today:

- Your estrogen level is at 152

- You have a 13.5mm follicle on your left with 9 smaller ones

- You have 6 small follciles on your right

Last Call

So today 7 years ago was the time I ever spoke to my grandpa, the day after Father's Day. I guess it was around 4:30pm, it was raining I was driving. I wish I would've known when I hung up that phone that it was going to be the last time I heard his words. I would have listened forever. I am blessed because I knew him, I was blessed because I got so much time with him. During my drive home that afternoon from the time I hung up till I pulled into my neighborhood it was approximately 35 mins. My life was forever changed. My grandpa suffered a stroke and was taken via helicopter to the hospital. He hung on for a while, but unfortunately he never woke up. My grandpa was the most gentle, understanding, funny, goofy, handsome, and warm hearted individual. I am who I am because of him. I get my humor from him. I wish he was here because in times when I felt defeated, he always had a way of making sense of it. I know he is looking down, and he still comforts my soul. I will never forget that last call.

I had a really nice weekend. I am so blessed to have such amazing friends that we were willing to spend time with us. They took the time to make me laugh and smile. By Sunday I was for sure ready to just move forward in cycle #2.

I plan on having a great week because my brother comes home Weds! Which is such a blessing. I hope he is healed and strong enough to deal with life's temptations. Then we are going out of town Friday. Not sure where yet.

This week I want to focus on getting the house organized in tip top shape. We are moving on Sept 1st so I was things in order so it's easier to pack! I also want to become more active, taking nightly walks, going to the gym, because I want to be able to stay active if/when I become pregnant.

When I emailed my RE Friday to tell them that I got my BFN, my main favorite nurse was out of the office. That was a real bummer. Well this morning I got this encouraging email from her.

Hi Sarah,

 

I just wanted to touch base with you to let you know that I am all up to date with the plan for your next cycle.

 

I’m so sorry to hear your test was negative, but do not get discouraged! I know this can be very emotionally taxing, but it does often take more than one try. So, on we go!

 

Please let me know if you have any further questions. I will be here all week from 9-5.

 

GOOD LUCK! Talk to you soon,

Michal

IuI #2 already planned!

Well I just got an email from my doctor. Today is already a new day, and we are moving forward.

Here is the run down for IUI cycle #2
-Refill both the Clomid and Ovidrel
-Clomid 100mg days 5-9 (6/18-6/22)
-Monitoring will start 6/25 @ 8:30am

NEGATIVE

After so many positive feelings and prayers, it's a NEGATIVE for sure. I feel silly to think after all of this I actually thought it would be this easy. It went perfect, as perfect as it could, and still nothing. This blog post is going to be roller coaster of emotions so hang on tight. I will try to put my thoughts in order the best way I know how.

This morning after Aeron left to go to work, I had my moment, I sobbed. I even had somewhat of a temper tantrum where I kicked my mattress a few times. I sat there and thought why in the hell did I tell everyone about this situation, and I thought long and hard about it. My reason: Because this nothing to be ashamed of. I would rather be a voice for women who go thru this everyday. I have realized I have TONS of support, and that Aeron and I are loved by so many. With all of the prayers that come in, I know that can only help us. So I want to thank every person who has reached out with a story, encouragement, and comfort. After all of that thinking and analyzing I fell asleep finally. Only to wake up from a call from Christy-Thank god because I had over slept.

So the current update is: I wrote my Dr. she said Clomid can extend your cycle up to a week-so that's why I was late, another awesome side effect to this drug. Also I just literally just got my period. So today is now officially Day1 of cycle#2. I am angry, annoyed, let down, defeated, and I really want to dye my hair and drink a margarita-two things I have held off doing pending if I was pregnant or not for obvious reasons! Today, I feel bad for myself. I feel bad for Aeron, who I thought would end up having an awesome Father's Day who will now just have another regular Sunday. I have been saving my birthday Old Navy gift cards in hopes of buying maternity clothes, now I will be going on a shopping spree for sure. I am gonna treat myself nicely today, and gear up for more meds, shots, and sonograms. I am still forever Thankful I have come this far, that I have a supportive husband, and I have fertility coverage.

So going forward this next round:
I am going to take my metformin regularly
Looking into acupuncture
I am also going to start working out to remove stress from my life  

Onward and upward for cycle #2.

Counting Down

So I haven't been posting lately, because really there's nothing to talk about really. Yesterday I had really light brown spotting, I was sure the AF was coming. However, it went away. It's happened a few more times, but for the most part has stopped. I am praying it's a good sign.

So I am pretty much doing what everyone else is...WAITING....it's annoying though because it's my body and I don't even know what's going on in there. Two more days!

June 14th is a big for other reasons too!
-Aeron's last day at his job, before he starts his new career at Appraisal Services.
-It's Father's Day weekend
-It's one of my best friends son's birthdays. My little guy Caiden. On June 14th, 2005 I watched him come into this world. I have loved every minute seeing him grow.
-If Aeron's parents were still married it would've been their 33rd wedding anniversary.

So we shall see..........................