.:Hess Nest:.

Maybe PCOS, Maybe Not.

2011-10-26T09:04:00.002-04:00

I went and met with Dr. Demitina with Dominion Fertility. He was AMAZING. I highly recommend them. We talked over all of our history, and he said "you have been ignored long enough, we are going to change that". For once, finally someone listens. He had me do a sonogram while I was at the appointment. Which ended up being totally fine. He showed me my overies, my uterus, my lining, my eggs....he said I had very health overies....but then says you have pco-looking overies. Ok well PCOS is bad, and if I have PCO-looking overies that's bad right? He said no. OK? Once I got dressed he came back in, and told me the next steps.
I have to go get blood taken to check hormones, std's, and genetic issues. Also, Aeron has to do another Seman Anyalis. Dr. D seemed slightly concerned about his last test. We go back again Nov 18 to go over the test results and see what the course of action will be. For once, I have hope. Hormones are a lot easier to correct, then physical issues. In the meantime we are still doing weight watchers, I am still taking Metformin and Clomid. Hopefully we just become pregnant. Please send prayers our way!!!

News, Updates, Changes, and Support

2011-10-13T10:10:00.002-04:00

My very good friend Jessica had her babies last night, yes two little boys. They were a healthy weight for being born at 35weeks, and so cute! Baby A, Joshua was 6lbs 1 oz...and Baby B, Matthew was 6lbs 13 oz. They are both very healthy, and do not need much assistance. Both are in the NICU which was a dfferent experience to go visit them. I am thankful I was able to spend a little time with them. As we were leaving the hospital in the car pulling out of the birthing center, I couldn't help but ask Aeron "Do you think this will ever be us"? He always used to say with out a doubt, it will be us at the right time. Now however, he is starting to realize that its possible it won't be us. He has now changed his anwser to "I hope so".

This week is a really busy one. I am still cleaning on Thursday nights, and working Sat and Sunday at the Bridal Shop. Friday night, while Aeron bowls I will be visiting with Jess and the babies. Saturday I work 10-6; then we are going to the Zac Brown Band concert. Sunday we are going to the Redskins vs Eagles game. So fun filled days for sure. Just me and my hubbs.

Next week we have a consultation with Dominion Fertility. Hopefully we will finally get anwsers. I just want to know what we are up against. I also started going to a support group on the first Tuesday of every month called RESOLVE. Aeron had to really push me to go, but I am so glad I did. Please look at their website, it gives lots of interesting info. http://www.resolve.org

I will update after our appointment : ) Please send prayers our way.

Cycle #2

2011-09-07T20:44:00.003-04:00

Ok-I just picked up my prescription for my Metformin and Clomid. While I was there I looked through the baby section while I waited for the prescription. I bought a onesie....on clearance of course. It says "Daddy says I can't date until 25" ha ha too cute.

This month we are trying preseed as well.

Tomorrow is day 5 of my cycle which means it's the start of Clomid days 5-9. BEWARE!

Please say a prayer for us, please let it be our month.

Fair-Weather Friend

2011-08-22T14:45:00.002-04:00

A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you.

Usually a good friend to begin with that eventually takes advantage of a true friend and does not maintain the SAME loyalty and respect. Without an explation why, a fair weather friend may abandon a friendship altogether for superficial reasons or changes in moral beliefs without a care for nurturing fair dicussion. The exception is when that person needs something, they know they can still count on an "all weather friend"

This describes to a "t" what I am experiencing from my two closest friends. I feel very betrayed, alone, and just sad. It's ok though, I knew that they wouldn't understand me working 7 days a week, and what my goals are in doing so. But I didn't exspect for it to take a turn like this. The only thing I can do is stand up for myself, stay stong, and know that all the work I am putting in now will get me where I want to be.

Day 27

2011-08-15T10:24:00.002-04:00

Have I mentioned how much I hate this wait? I don't think I got pregnant this month, so if I didn't can we just move on? This next cycle we are going to use pre-seed (for the sake of the parentals reading I will spare the details-if your interested google it). Also we will be going trying ovulation prediction tests. For some reason even when my Dr. has confirmed ovulation the tests never work for me. But I am willing to try again. In addition, I am going to make an appointment at Dominion Fertility to see what my insurance covers.

In other news. My best friend finds out what she is having in a few weeks, I am so excited to know!

I got a part-time job at a Bridal Store on the weekends. It's a lot that I am taking on but it will be worth it when I am in my new home. This week we have a meeting with another lender to talk about the VHDA loan.

The Waiting Game

2011-08-10T08:40:00.002-04:00

Ok-So I've started the dreaded two week wait to see if I am pregnant. I don't think this month is it, but I am excited of the possibility and starting everything again next month.

The in-laws came for a visit, it was really great for them to see our apartment. I hope by the next time they come we will either be moving to our new home, or at least further in the process. While they we here we went to the Air and Space Museum and the NRA Museum-Air and Space was interesting, NRA-Not at all.

My really close prego friend is back in the hospital her potassium is high, her blood pressure is high and she is still throwing up everything. I hope her stay is short, and she won't have to go back again till Baby E makes his/her entrance in to this world.

My mom got engaged this past weekend to her boyfriend Leo. I think they will most likely get married May 2012. Congrats to them!

No other news to report. No news is good new sometimes.

Can't Sleep

2011-07-27T00:36:00.001-04:00

I am having a hard time sleeping tonight. Aside from the emotional struggles I have been having..I am having equal physical struggles. Since starting the meds I have had bad stomach issues..and headaches.

I have lots of wonderful people on my side. Sadly a few that I want to lean on...just arent here...and thats ok.

I have faith in this process....I am going to work on being positive. Ok enough midnight ramblings.

Bad as it gets?

2011-07-25T08:57:00.002-04:00

This weekend was such a difficult time for me. I was in the middle of my period, I started Metformin again; and Clomid. It threw me over the edge. I was nasty, and emotional. I said things out of spite, my brain was somewhere else. I could feel this attitude coming on, but not even those I pre-warned were ready for how I acted. My husband is such a saint. During this time I cannot stress how much I need support, I need people to work with me. Please understand. I found a couple of helpful things to post, to represent how I feel.

The Infertility Patients Prayer
Lord, Give me Strength...
To keep my cool when another period starts.
To keep my chin up when a co-worker announces her pregnancy.
To have a good relationship with my friend in spite of her ability to conceive easily and not be jealous of her.
To endure my sister-in-law's comments about toilet training.
To keep from crying when I see children begging on the roads.
To forgive my doctor when he keeps me waiting for two hours for a consultation - and then can't remember my name.
To make the right decision about treatment.
To maintain a good relationship with my husband in spite of all this.

Infertility is...
Watching your husband playing with your friend's baby and wishing you could give him one of his own.
Telling nurses to please take blood from your right arm because the veins in your left arm are all gone because of all the IVs you've had.
Avoiding people you haven't seen for a long time because you don't want to hear the question, "Do you have any kids yet?".
Feeling very left out when your friends start comparing their pregnancy or childbirth experiences.
Feeling like the whole town is pregnant except for you.
Getting tired of people always expecting you to do things because "you don't have any kids to worry about".
Waking up in the middle of the night and wishing you could hear your baby crying.
Wishing you could give your parents grandchildren.
Wanting to fall apart if one other person says, "Why don't you adopt?" Easy, right?
Sometimes avoiding friends who are pregnant or with newborns because you just can't handle the situation at that moment.

ALSO...I found this really funny blog that I HOPE is going to keep me laughing. Here is a sample. If anyone reading this is having TTC issue I recommend this, its a good/funny read.
http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/

#702 Wouldn’t it be Great to be Pregnant at the SAME time!
You’ve heard this line many times before. Wouldn’t it be just great if we got pregnant at the same time! Yes (sister-in-law, best friend, cousin Martha), it would be fantastic to be pregnant at the same time, and how would you like me to do that again?
As soon as your relative, friend, Facebook acquaintances, co-worker gets pregnant, she suddenly shares her fabulous idea that you should get pregnant at the same time. “It would be so much fun,” She squeals (while rubbing her pregnant belly). “We can take prenatal classes together and go on play dates. You better hurry up!” And it typically doesn’t matter if she knows about your infertility struggles or not. She will somehow say this anyways.
What a SUPER NEAT idea! Yes! Let’s be pregnant together! I will just head right home, take some fertility drugs, stick a transvaginal wand inside of me, remove embryos from my uterus, have a fertility lab technician wash my husband’s sperm, have some timed intercourse and then sit patiently for the next two weeks, waiting for my pregnancy test results.
Your sister-in-law, friend, co-worker and cousin Martha do have a good point. It would have been really nice to be pregnant at the same time. You have thought about this a million times before. You thought about it when dear old SIL was pregnant with baby #1, and then baby #2. You thought about it when your friend Betty-Sue was trying to conceive and got pregnant right away while you were still waiting. And no, you can’t just “hurry up and get pregnant.” If ‘hurry up’ means get pregnant within 3-10 years, you will definitely hurry it up. Next time you’re at the fertility doctor, you’ll nicely inquire if she could hurry up the ovulation, fertilization process. No problem-o!
During infertility, you can also enjoy some of the following lines (that seem to be universal):
Just relax and it will happen.
Why are you waiting so long?
Why don’t you just adopt?
I know someone (who knows someone) who adopted and then got pregnant.
Have you tried (insert bad advice from a relative, grandma Mildred, a friend or random stranger)?
Get drunk!
Go on vacation and it will just happen.
When the time is right, it will happen.
You’re thinking about it too much.
Stop trying.
You do agree it would be great to be pregnant at the same time as your friend but right now, you would happily settle to get pregnant at any time and any date.

The Final Countdown

2011-07-22T08:35:00.002-04:00

This is actually a fun/happy/exciting countdown. This isn't the bad Final Countdown...nothing like the really bad song The Final Countdown by Europe that my husband uses for his alarm clock ringtone in the morning.

Only two more days after today I will take my first clomid pill, and kick off our new and improved : ) cycle.

I can do it all by myself...

2011-07-20T20:56:00.002-04:00

I got my period today....all by myself! No need for the Provera to bring on my cycle. I am so excited about this because that means on day 5 I can go ahead and get started on my Clomid. I feel like this may be a blessing in the making!

Starting Over Isn't Always Bad

2011-07-19T20:03:00.002-04:00

Today was my yearly gyno visit and my fertility check up with Dr. Ng. BTW=Best Dr. Ever! Basically he said we are going to start fresh with Clomid, forget about all the months and years we have tried. There is nothing medically wrong with us (other than random ovulation/lack of ovulation some cycles). We know for a fact Clomid made me ovulate in the past, we confirmed with a blood test. So now I just need to takes lots of Baby Moon weekend trips with my hubbs : ) I wish I was as confident as Dr. Ng is, but I am going to be positive.
I do have a very good feeling about this round of baby making. So basically below is the plan of action.
-Get my period on track-Most likely by taking Provera
-Continue taking Metformin
-Take Clomid on days 5-9

Hopefully within a few months we will be expecting a precious gift!!

I'm going to be better I promise....

2011-06-27T10:08:00.002-04:00

So...I suck at updating this blog. I'm going to be better I promise. <3 Lot's of things are changing. The reason we have put off TTC is b/c I got a new job! It's a wonderful job, and I am so blessed. Aeron also got a promotion, and we recently moved. WHEW.
Good news we are officially starting to conceive again the next cycle in July. We are so excited. My next follow up appointment is July 19th. In the meantime we will be doing other things to keep our minds busy. In two weeks we will be traveling to my Mother In Laws (Mil) to have a nice extended weekend getaway.
Recently we have also made a new friendship which we are really excited about. We have been looking for a married couple that we can really relate to, and I'm very thankful for our new found friendship. I am so happy for them, because they just found out their pregnant! Hopefully, I am not far behind.
So that's the big info I have for you now. I will update soon, promise : )

I told you so...

2010-07-14T20:11:00.002-04:00

Rewind back to our last meeting with Shady Grove fertility, the doctor came in and said "you have PCOS". I was really taken back, that either she was jumping the gun; or she was physic and already knew what was wrong before running any tests. I always said she was wrong, and never agreed with that diagnosis.

Well today was my annual pap woo hoo. Dr. Ng was very happy with my weight loss, down 22 lbs since my first visit with him. He agreed from my blood work that I do not actually have PCOS, just a lack of ovulation. So really nothing is wrong, and now that I am on Clomid it should take care of that ovulating problem. I was so happy. I survived the appointment, and he was very nice. This is my first experience with a male doctor, and it was no biggie.

That's all the info I have right now, but I am going to start updating this more frequently.

I made it!

2009-08-19T14:45:00.002-04:00

I am happy to say I'm in one piece. This morning seemed to drag on. However, my mom picked me up and drove me to the hospital. Got there registered and waited for my name to be called.

At first I wasn't going to have my mom go, but changed my mind. There were 2 nurses, my doctor (gyn), and my mom. There weren't any stirrups which SUCKED, I had to hold my feet up yet, be at the end of the bed...kinda tricky.She got the catherter in, which wasn't the funnest thing I have ever done but nothing I couldn't handle.

Then finally radiologist came in, and we all realized that the catheter came out. GREAAATTTT. So had to re-do it. 2nd time not as bad.

Then my doctor pulled down the sheet so all of my goodies weren't shown to everyone. The radiologist back came in, and then my doctor said we were done. I was like huh, never a cramp once. So easy even with them redoing the first part. I would def do it again. I started crying because I was so happy...I was sure I had something wrong. They were so clear they emptied into my uterus within like 2 seconds. I got slip n slides!!!!

Overall the procedure was high on my emotions with the fear that something was going to be horriable. OH BTW she told me my day 3 blood work came back and I am a great candidate for Clomid. Which I will be starting next cycle!!!!!! YAY BFP here I come! (hopefully)

Ready or Not...He we go...

2009-08-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, so Tuesday apparently is my hsg test. Which I don't even know my doctor would have told me to get the test if I didn't pester her. She never mentioned any further tests I needed. I am now thinking if I should scrap this whole thing with her and just go to Shady Grove. Shady Grove is only right down the road from my work which is a plus, and everyone there is going for the same reason and I won't have to sit there and stare at pregnant women walk in while I am waiting to talk to the doctor about my non ovulatory cycles. This is so hard to put in perspective...we all know I am a WUSS-WEEN and now I have to put on my big girl panties..Well I have to at it this way I have a wonderful end result coming, and I will be prepared for labor after being poked and proded until I get pregnant. I hope to be pregnant by December, we will see! Stay tuned.